Undisclosed Desires,
Bonjour xx.Called as Liya.Im still growing.Blogging is my passion.tumblr | twitter | Follow +❤ | ©
»»»Wednesday, June 10, 2015 @ 04:00
Assalam.Its a long time im not been here lols
Ok actually this post kinda like my confession and thought la maybe.
Past few weeks kot ive seen this pic and i rt-ed it haha.
Its about everything that we have stop to do but then we repeat it again.
Its like a mistakes that we repeat again.
I think its not a mistakes.its a choice.
And its sad because we repeat it.
It smtg like we called istiqamah.
You know its easy to change but
To be istiqamah in that changing phase I think that would not be that easy cheese.
Its sad that we try not to do but still do.
Why?
Im not saying im fully istiqamah...
Im in that phase.a failure...:(
U know that feeling...in ur heart..its feels uneasy..its feels like why i still do?!
Ive managed not to before but the why did I do now?!
U feels like u r lost..and u have fail in ur life.u dont even know what to do.its smtg myb like mencarut..yeah susah kan?
Or anytg else that makes u feels guilty and sinsful..
I know this is not the only me feels this way..
I hope you guys doing fine
And be better everyday every upcoming morning.
Just a simple question to keep remind yourself "sampai bila nak macamni"
And then u will feels the aura lol.
I bet every of u will have this kind of aura where you dont want ur life have a bad ending,i mean die in avail.
U know what i mean about right?
;) lihat la cermin banyak2,bagus sbnrnya.
Salam.
»»»Monday, June 1, 2015 @ 01:15
Assalam.So yeah everyone is busy packing their stuffs and so on to their university.most of my friends get same dateline for the registration thing.im different ,14 june
Cuz myb im polytech student cey.
Mixed feelings here.there and everywhere.some excitement,worry,sad,happy,joys and
Haih so much thing needs to settle up and so much thing needs to think and planning for myself to be a 4flat student blablabla ok this is just a metaphor plus some hyperbole lols
So here the title given is totally to whoever that doesnt like me or pretending to like me in front but in my back talking bullshit about me or to whoever that never get enough words to condemning and judging me heh.
Mostfully ,a faker.ups no FAKERS.
I dont have a time to satisfy you and do ur favor.i dont need to be sarcastic of whatever u said about me
Because i dont want to look stupid.
I never want to that no more.
Keep doing anytg like u want to do.
Like bashing me at your friends there and there like yeah u can pretend to be good in front of me but im not stupid.
Aku kesian sebab tak pernah sedar diri
And tak pernah ubah mulut longkang pecah tu bila nak baiki?
Making bad story about me to let me down? Haha aku tak kisah la.
U do that because u r afraid ,nobody want to be ur friend? Or myb ur friends leaving u?
Still a coward.just be friend to all people,is that a sin?
Ni dak hidup dalam kelompok masing2 ingat sistem kabilah ka apa?
You guys really have to win an award of a best actor and actress.
Too much dramas.pity..what a shame.
So funny.
Since when asking for apology means that she/he want you?
People apologize because their mistakes.
And dont want to burdened with sins.
Im sorry for everything.
Im never be good,im still fix myself
Never good enough,Bcause im not perfect.
I have so much thing to do and recovery myself.
You guys just a waste of time ;)
P/s : pls del all the screenshot of my photos .thanks for making fun of others and never feels guilty. I hope God give you His way.
A right way
»»»Friday, May 29, 2015 @ 01:34
Assalamualaikum.Yeah im here again haha yela sini jelah mana lagihhhhh kan.
Last week i had fun with my classmates.
Guess what.. Bbq !!! But there was 3 girls that join that moment including me.
But thats doesnt a matter but a matter for me because its supposed to be 5 arif complete! But only half of the class i guess.erm 70% approximate percent haha!
Im a bit frust cuz they cant finish my potatoes! :( because we were too full.
Thanks for the commitment to make this plan success and went well.
Im gonna leave my place in just a few days.seriously,im not ready mentally,physically,and emotionally are not well prepare..
Hearing about "engineering" is a tough course make me like what if i fail,extend sem,repeat paper .too much "what if" in my mind.Im worry if i cant suit myself with the surrounding ,people and in making friends because im not a snob or so choosing in making friends..
Its just me shy..and maybe low selfconfident to start the conversation.
Kena la dengan muka yg cold dan garang ni ada ke kawan? Hahah
Hopefully they doesnt judge that physical appearance in picking up friends.
Hopefully to get "satu kepala" roomate and coursemate.
Congrats bby ,at last ,u finally have chance to go for ipta.
Poli jugak! Haha jodoh tapi masih jauh
Ipoh dan perlis.dangggg~
Surely ,we will busy..thats normal
I can accept the fact.
But never fall to someone else please?
Im waiting every sec for you.
Haha *huh sembilu
To whoever that still stay with me,
Keep staying,because i love you guyszz so much.
Dont ever forget about me and us
Even if we will continue our study.
I love natela leana.
My bros
Daniel,afif,aina,amir,amri,syamin,nurhan.
Izzah,sya,ayuni,anis..
Im gonna miss our good moments..
»»»Monday, May 18, 2015 @ 04:18
Hi i hope u r doing fine there bby.Haha the thing is i cant sleep rn.
Im stuck,just scrolling ig,tweets and stalking people.
People are so pretty .hope you have a great life haha! Lol
Actually this post is about him.just want to let all out whats in my thought.heh if u dont want to read,just go ahead because it might make you faint or throw up with dizzy lol.
I wonder why i never met you earlier before..
Fate?
I believe ,its not easy to meet a right person.you have to cope with difficulties.
It's not easy to have a person that completely can accept with the all of you without complains.
Its not about perfection,Or instead of never commented you when you do wrong or even ignore your fault.
Its about acceptance.
Accepting the darkside of a person,their past,and their bright-side too.
Its doesnt mean that you have to accept him/her when she/he did wrong.No,
That is call forgiving.
Im glad since the day I get to know you
And still.
Im glad that I have you in my life.
Nobody know how suck and bad was my life before..drowning in stupid thought that make the memories keep haunting me.that was totally stupid thing to keep and reminiscing back then.
Sinking in a broken-heart and broken soul.
But if I didnt been through that,I never met you now.i never be this stronger.
Thanks for giving me some time to built up everything back with you b.
Thanks for your courage and effort for me and us.
Haha somehow you annoy me much with "youre pretty" "beautiful girl" You never tired to praise me all time doh.
Hahahaha punny.
I know i hurt you so much in one time ..
But i never mean it tho.
Thanks for being patient with my unexpected mood and so on.
Thanks for so much surprises and i hate it sometimes haha..because
I never want to burden your life even if 1% just because of me.
You still choose to laugh even if u hurt.
I know. That so long "hahahaha" in text.
Im sorry i make u hurt and jealous in one time just because of some lil thing.
I love you so much as wide as the sky was.
As much as the stars glowing at the night,
As bright as the Sun shining for the Earth
I never thought that I would have this kind of 101 partner in my life.
You are definition of perfect in my life because youre the missing puzzle that complete me;)
He has all that I desired for.
Thanks mal<3
»»»Tuesday, May 12, 2015 @ 01:57
Assalam! Hi hello haha yes not really hectic day,just saja buat terok skit.Ok actually I baru ja freshly resigned as partime promter thestore..so so tired and i cant suit myself with that surrounding bukan aku jenis memilih just strict gila..yeah because i prefer work in fun and happy daripada work in stress because salary tu banyak mampus.
Not bad la 4.30$ per hour.
I got offer from politeknik ungku omar inengineering in electric and electronic.i dont even expect to get this because yeah I dont really into it.but Alhamdulillah..
It is the most tough engineering course.
I dont know whether i can do this or nah
also got offer from kptm in tesl.
Im speechless and numb.which one i should choose:(.its hard to decide..
Tesl (too many students taking this and too many competiton will affect job tendency)
Engineering (males..hard and tough to carry on..myb end in halfway..stress)
Yeah nothing will be that easy right.
Im stuck in between these two.
Actually kptm in cheras..i kinda dont like that surrounding in kl.idk y.
But if others can do it why we cant?
Oh yeah to whoever think that
Im so clingy to apologize or think that i want to take advantage on you,
Thts you..
Im sorry if tht make u think like that towards me.
I just want to die peacefully later.
Because we dont even know wht had written about us..death.
Myb this sounds cliche but think twice.
Yang mana cakap aku tak ikhlas tu ,itu hang pulak dengan tuhan.
I already forgive and forget..
I apologize because i want to not because of i want ppl to accpt me in their life or to please other.
I do wrong so i should
I do sins.
Is that a bad thing ?
»»»Thursday, April 16, 2015 @ 00:28
Assalam.So guess what..im officially 18 lady ! Phew!nothing special , nothing much.didnt have a big celebration pun or any cake because i take it easy&simple lol.just enjoy with the food hihi
Currently just waiting to continue further study which i dont know where to go.
It's such a hard decision i have to make by my own self.
I choose tesl,english communication to be my course but i dont know and dont even sure if this decision is right.
I have a lot of interest such as in arts,culinary,engineering,architecture.
It's hard to be me.damn but also i feels enthusiasm at the same time umH.
Oh yeah i hope so tak dapat area kl or selangor or yg terdekat dengan sana.
I have to face up many thing that comes and go.i feels in despair haih.
And i must find a job because yeah i need to settle up so much thing.
And what i depress about here was it's hard to get a job here! Perlis!!! Argh
Tambah-tambah yang lekat"job vacancy"
Aku pergi tanya kata takde,wtf..
Baik tak payah lekat and i was like my face looks like a monster or what-.-
But he still there saying"dont worry"
"You dont have to work "
"Im here for you,dont worry"
Hm heh but still in worries TTvTT
I fed up actually..but you still want me to do so.:(
Haih everything seems complicated.
I hate this feeling...
Well happy18 dearself
Stay happy stay gold
»»»Sunday, April 12, 2015 @ 02:12
»»»Friday, April 3, 2015 @ 02:48
Assalam:)
Hi helo hola im updating now haha ,r u notice me not? Ok .
Last few days I was scrolling my notes.Its funny when reading that old broken heart notes dedicate to smeone tht broke my hopes.well my fault for trusting too much hm.I found that was really pathetic and ridiculous.literally ew disgusting hahaha!
But somehow it make me realized that i should be thankful to Allah because from that i bcome stronger.an army for myself.
Because no matter what happens,life goes on nigga!and yeah accept the fate.
"Redha" thts it eventho its difficult at first but later you will be fine.trust me;)
So actually ive been thinking wearing braces because my upper line of teeth are not okay.there is a gap.and its make me looks like jongang:( .its look like more gap then before :(.
Im so happy ajmal help me to fulfill my wish! Hehe he settle up thing with the doctor and set an appointment for me which on this upcoming saturday.tomorrow!
Ah i cant im just so happy.thanks a lot baby!acocoih hahahaha!
Ive heard this one phrase where its said "mcm mana nak dpt lg baik kalau xboleh lepas dan tak boleh terima hakikat yang lepas"
This is so true.if you learn not to let go,its you that create the problem.saddened soul,broken,fragile and whatsoever.
Im saying this not only in "relay""love" context ok.its all thing that happened in your life.Theres hikmah or reason behind that.i dont know how to explain but you should read "Tuhan sedang menguji kita" by Ustaz Kazim Elias.
InsyaAllah may Its help you to whoever that reading my blog rn.
Im not saying im acting good or whatever im just want to help.tak rugi pun kan.
Theres too many thing that make You happy.youre sad or happy because you choose it.
Im trying to fix myself.im not like what on ur mind.im bad ..haih
Why im so emotional tonight uhm uhm sorry hahah!
Can i have it ? :<
»»»Monday, March 23, 2015 @ 00:08
Assalam..Fuh so exhausted.. Tired..
April is coming..my day i mean my special day on april is around the corner!
Ah i just love 14teen heheks
Sounds chicky ! Ahah
So basically, I spend my day almost on my bed..tv..and food.(less eat nowadays dono y) and struggling to get fit and slim tummy.curvy body shape ,v shape ,v line lol.why so exciting lieyaaa. Chill out ...
Because i dono what to do so yeah body goal is on working it!
"Friends" on this post again haha because i miss em much lewlzz
Ok start with...
Ain-shes stronger.ive been with her since form 1.until she quit from mrsm and now.
Shes kind and very patient..independence..and always with her good ideas in everything.pretty and never want anybody knw what had she been through..because shes so strong girl.
Deana- shes a joker.waterproof water resistance with any sarcasm or words making she down.good in hiding her problems..always attach to person that i dono myb they dont apprciate her :(
I hate to knw that when smbdy hurt her.
sya- shes just another twin of me.
Same thought and ideas.shes cold sometimes and make me scare to talk to her.very talkactive and mudah terhibur with my fucking jokes HAHA!
Matured and shes dont give a fuck about everything lol .shes just being happy and dont gve a shit about others.
Izzah- shes so lovely.adorable.and very funny.she always laugh at my jokes haha:( .cute! And strong enough to handle her problem without telling to anybody..
Yep shes always in a boat with me.
Same thought :) and forgiving.
So so positive <3
Daniel-my boy.haha! He is smart.fucking brilliant and great.He never care what on others mind.he just do his own thing and chill out.i hate him because his so clever..i envy whenever he said "relax lah dont study.kita enjoi" hahaha wtf and there he come with many A's.fuckiu.
He always there for me whenever i need some opinions and help.too kind to handle and naughty lol this sound gay haha! And yeah he's gentle man .so lady stay away from him.cuz i had fall for him when i was in form 4 haha!
Afif(redz)-he is so funny as fuck.his spontaneous jokes always make me burst out tears and rofl hahahaha!
And he might be so irritating because he love to fart whenever he get the oppurtinity haha! Well i love his style of being himself. Cool! This is awkward haha!! Yeah he have that good voice in singing and thats y i call him akim!
Afif(madro)-he is kinda a brother that protect me.he always there whenever i need.matured enough until i might call him "bapak orang" hahahaha!he is funny.and he never want to burden ppl with his problem.so so so independence.
And sometimes..he might be so mad in just a blink of eye.so fast..but he still can handle it.he always help me in motivate me whenever im down.he never forget me until now.good son to his family.i salute him :)
Nurhan-he is funny in silence! Lol i could say this because he with his jokes never fail to make me laugh.sometimes he can be so "pretty" boy haha!!!he is a good friend and listener to keep with:)
And very kind! Cant call him a "badass or badboi" haha
Raqib- ok this is so funny...why him?
Bcause he is good in advising.he and his quotes never get old.he is so good in teasing people...he is smart and always love his girlfriend haha!
Anis and farisha..they never fade away in my mind.theyre so kind to me.always spreading positive vibes.good listener and good in advising.so inspiring yet creative in art! I love em so much.so feminine hehe but anis more to boyish smh.hehe because anis love football.shes cool lady!
Well too many good person to describe :(
Dont frget Dinie and Nurin too.theyre the best friends to chill out.and stress free.
Theyre too kind yet so so so honest
Original and so pretty lads.Funny as fuxk hahaha especially dinie hehe:B
»»»Friday, March 20, 2015 @ 00:38
Assalam..Well ive been not blogging for a long time..haha im sorry because im so depressed and not in kind of any mood.
What i really do is..lock my self in my own room.and I dont really have any mood to go out to everywhere..just staying up at home all day long.Its such a weird thing that happen on me because I really enjoy goin out with my friends.
But lately just fill up my time watching television and yes fuck astro for boring programme...so just watching 712 E! Haha current addiction lol heheh
Ok so i have so many thing to do since im free and dont know to do what.
I want to go for sewing class at kemas.
And study back all grammar thing.
Gain some self confidence ..bcause yeah im lack of it.i never talk in front of audience..but its necessary and such a priority when we r in Uni life :( .sucks i hate this.i dont know how to communicate bcause of anxiety that kill me not fear huh... Lol
I miss my school so much..i miss the bad and good moments there.
I miss so much my crazy classmate and most annoying classmate ever i had.
2 years was not enough .i enjoy form4&5 so much even i hate em(boys) because they are so irritating but some of em are my best fucking friend(daniel said tho)
Hahahaha! I cant even move on to miss my class:(..i wish i could rewind evrything..
I wish they will not change..i mean being snobbish and fucker lol haha!
I wish they stay crazy and annoying..because the most hurtful thing was the most thing we could miss ,and the most annoying thing are the most we couldnt forget lol ..
Im sorry if you feels like im a bitch because i ve more {guy} friend than girls.
Girls so complicated and dramas.
I admit it bcause ive been through it.But that is not mean im sharing everything with boys lol-.-
I dont know but im glad to have em.
:) even tho theyre so annoying as fuck.
But im glad too that my girls are not complicated bcause theyre just like me.
I mean same mind and thought lol!
And i call em "pancaroba" "shemale"
Bcause they r not so complicated than any fucking bitch with full of dramas.
Wow i babbling so much hah. Haha sorry
But i do miss mal too..
My beginning from my sucks and horrified past.
My ending to my pain.
My cure to every hurt.
My strength whenever i feels down
And a sweet dream from my fucking nightmare..
Ajmal is so amazing hehe eventho he talk a lot tht doesnt make any sense lol!
But i like it :B
»»»Thursday, March 12, 2015 @ 23:52
Need to start back from the beginning
Squad half squad blablabla ugh.i really miss slim tummy and thigh.huh...
Okay okay.since i quit my job tmrw.
Yes.aha so i will settle up my preparation for uni thingy and stuff.i hate this part lol.
Well actually i got a text from dilog/dts for aircraft maintenance interview.
How i wish my mom stop telling me that im only get 4As..seriously
I need supports and a shoulder..from family:'(
I need to opinions and views from em.
Theyre my priority:(
But my mom doesnt undrstand my condition.can you just end about spm thing..ive done my best ma..i did.
Its hurt a lot when you have been compared to others.
Aku takpa kalau orang lain takpi hal family aku tak boleh.
Tambah2 parents.mak..
Abah aku rileks.dia melawak ke serious aku pon tak boleh banding.well its seems like only my dad can accpt all the flaws in me.accpt what ive got.
Im done.im tired crying for the same thing.
I get weak and fall again.its hard manh...
Im so down to the core .....
Maybe my dua'a was heard by Allah.
Yeah.myb He test me bcause of kifarah.
Or myb He want me to get know and get closer to Him.
Im ready and Redha for all thing He destiny for me.
Thanks ajmal.youre my strength.
Youre there and always everywhere.
Thanks for never being tired of me.
And u r cute .and lovely
Haha macam tak kena ja hahahahaha ok
Im so sleepy :< and my eyes puffy
Hurr :(
»»»Thursday, March 5, 2015 @ 00:48
Assalam !
Fuh dah bleh habih dah kot pasal result spm 2014...
Congrats to everyone.
Congrats to me hahaha whatever~
But first i think that takpyah nak blame orang lain sbb dapat result mcm ni or cmtu.Maybe tak murah sgt rezeki kali ni.
Im happy always try to be happy.
But some little thing make me down to the core.
Its hurt and the most sad part is
Knowing your parents get disappointed because of you..i know...
The way my mother talk to me.
Its different.im sorry i cant make u proud at this time ma..
Such a tough year for me..
And then you get to be compared with other is sucks.
But i believe that behind these thing My mom want me to be sucess..
I believe in Allah plans for me is the best.
This is a test for me because He know i can make it.I will be put more effort in future.
Regrets ? Of course bcause i cant make my family proud of me.but this is not the end of everything.chill pill haha!
I will be one who will recieve Dekan on my next step.i will do..
I will never stop.i will make it and reach it.
To those lovely people who stand by me
Thankyou for not giving up on me and believe in me.
Ain,deanna,sya ,izzah,madro,daniel,ayuni..
And semua la.
Sayang too..ajmal zawawi....
Ps/madro punya ceramah ke aku mmg mntap hahaha tak sangka.even we r not that close..you are here whenever im down to core.
Will miss u guys :'(
Oh yeah happy birthday sayang !!
Iloveyou!!!!hehe :B
»»»Friday, February 27, 2015 @ 23:43
Assalam.Hi :B a few day left till the result will be announced arghhhhh i kenot ..
Tryna chill but yeah never get off from this mind la.Pray that me and all my friends get the best result! 9a+++ is too impossible for me.i know im not in that category.sheeesh t,t too late to be disappointed.haih whatever hahahaha
Life goes on.
So im gonna quit my job sooner.Ya allah time fly so fast.rasa berat ja nak berenti.because aunty dengan uncle are too kind.kak melia,pyza and amy too.
Im gonna miss that bakery..There are a lot of memories and and experiences i gained.
Tambah2 masa raya cina.fuh terasa boss haritu hahahaha.pls help me thinking when should i quit :(((( .aaaaaaa confusing.im scare of boring because im not that kind of yang reti dok diam.im not hahaha i will find smething to do even when im at home lol.
Oh anyways ajmal face like mawar rashid's pokpah hahahaha i kenot😂
P/s miss you sorry cant meet you like u want to.hm
»»»Thursday, February 26, 2015 @ 22:55
Hahaha hiHaih mood update malam ni.
Okay to everyone who judge me why him or whoever la i want to be with
Just fuck you
Why bother my freakin life huh -.-
Whatever.i dont care haha ppl never stop
Judging :)
So i knw him from a tuition class .
Yes i only took addmth class last year for my spm.bcause i dont want to burden my parents.eventho they want me to take for other subject extra class too.
I just took what i really cannot and less skills.cewah puih hahahaha
We have never been talking before.
Until one day we meet in wechat..
I just start the cnvstion to ask and make sure wether he is my ex tuition mate hahahahah!!!
And then nothing more to talk and i greet him bye haha -.-
But he keep babbling ugh.
And theres the beginning until one day
He confess for me what he feels for
And ask for me to be his gf.
I was like erm .idk what to say but
I never trust guy at tht moment.
Sorry you hahaha :<
But afterall the efforts u have done to me
Meet up my parents
Sneak out just to buy and send me some food when im hungry
Send me to my work place and back to my home..
And telling his whole family about me..
Ok tht part really make me feels shame..
Hahahahahah
You managed to make me trust on you :)
Please less sugar.i tak larat diabetes
Youre so kind and so cute :(
can i eat you? Hahaha
Ok ok whatever is..
Thanks for accpt me with all the flaws i have.
Im so glad.
Im so proud with ur effort..
Never get tired to say thing to make me feels calm.
And "nak liya..liya jadi isteri mal."
Thts so cute of you and telling ur mom everyday that u want to get married with me hahaha i kenot :(((( secute
»»» @ 22:31
Assalam..
Yeah i had already delete all those freakin post.ouch so gross out.
Haha reading back those all post really make me throw up and laugh out loud wahaha ewrgh!!
So first everytg goes so fast.nxt week will determine wether to be happy or sad.
Scarry as fck..but all can i do is tawakal.ntg more and pray too yeah
next "so fast" is to anybody that saying to smeone who was already broke up and
at last find a new partner or happiness or wtv "love".
Screw u up for saying "weh cepatnya dia dapat pegganti"
Seriously..you can say whatever u want but u never been in my shoes.
So u dont knw what i have been through ok?
Of course you might said "kata cinta tp at last cpt je dpt"
Yeah..
You dont know how long im waiting for nothing?
False hopes?
Waiting for everytg to back to normal.
Its hard.to fix once its broken.
Like a glass u throw up and find a glue to stick up..
U know that feeling when u have done so much and he still
Doin nothing and keep ignoring u.
Wheres the term of appreciate ?
And once u realise have been putting so much effort
And you feels like myb youre the only one hoping for it to be ok
And yeah you will move on.
Even you feels so reluctant to do so because u really want to wait and keep waiting
Because you think that u have that strong feeling not to give up la blablablabla
But you have to.
Come on ..even a married couple also get divorced and then find someone new
You know term of "jodoh"
Believe in his plan.
I know why God put me in that really unwanted situation before.
I trust.i believe..He gonna give me a rainbow after a rain.
Im talking not only in this kind of thing but in everything that He test me.
He knw the best afterall :)
Life goes on people!
Im starting to get away from all negative thing in my mind.
Postive vibe pls :p
go later /